Monday, May 31, 2010

Buy one, get one free

Last Friday i realised that if i didn’t have time to hook up in the traditional way, i should find some other ways to do it. Supermarket? hahaha, NO WAY. Cybersex... wooof, i did try once, because i think that u have to try everything to be able to say whether u like it or not... wooof, definitely not for me. I’m certain it is great for many people, but... that feeling of stillness, not coming or going anywhere ;) is not what i like. Work? Too bad. I already have a problem at work, and that’s so much more than i ought to... Sooo, what’s left? i found myself wondering... And then i got stuck into a traffic jam! what a nice possibility, i thought. Shouldn’t have stayed in the fastest lane. It felt great to be looking around cheerfully instead of cursing all the way back home. That, by the way, was more than one fucking hour and a half. Much more than usual...

So there i was, looking around and singing and not worrying too much about being late ‘cause after all it wouldn’t have helped at all... and then there it was, a huge 4x4 car, with two guys inside... both of them very handsome, in fact. Buy one, get one free =D They were looking at me, so i looked at them mockingly, they smiled and i smiled... But my luck was running out... Shouldn’t have been in the fastest lane. I lost them. Pity. Apart from that, nothing remarkable.

Ah, yeah. And i lost my sunglasses. The very ones that i bought like four days ago. Brilliant!

Sunday, May 30, 2010


Seems that after some time of being with good guys (they sure had their weaknesses, drugs, alcohol, among others, but they were basically good guys) i got fed up of them, as i said before. So now i am trying to diversify. Find it tough, i must say, because my life is a predictable one, job, park, home... Occasionally supermarket, greengrocer's and herbalist’s shop, or mall for a pair of cute little shoes and maybe even an afternoon snack with lots of chocolate and a glass of milk.

Diversifying has to be done in the shadows of the night, and, for me, nights are as calm and still as the dead sea in winter. And, lately, when i have had the opportunity, i’ve just stayed home eating pop-corn or simply sleeping; gosh, i’m dead! Besides, i don’t feel like sneaking around by myself, looking for a guy that may or may not succeed in being interesting at all... and then i just don’t know how to say NO when it comes to it. I keep thinking no, i won’t give him my phone number, no, i won’t see him again, it’s been nice enough for a night, let’s not spoil it. And then he says hey, i’d like to see you again, Nope (my answer), come on! it was fun, we could just meet some other night, couldn’t we, give me your phone number... And guess what? I do. I did!! More that twice... and what’s more, I still meet one of them from time to time... don't ask me why... yeah, it’s simple, just don’t know how to say NO when it comes to it...

Man is not the only animal that trips twice over the same stone. Women do that, too...

So now that i’m fed up of everything (quite), i have decided to give my life a makeover. Wonder how... I’m on it =) but given that i’m pretty slow at almost everything, i guess i won't achieve anything before i’m forty. Frustrating.

My job is a bill-paying job. In fact, i cannot complain about it. Still, i do. It's fucking boring and i keep saying the same four sentences over and over again... I feel like i have had the same conversation more than two hundred times... Hi, there, how are u doing? Fine, thanks and u? Well, it’s Wednesday, not too bad, is it? Well, it could be worse... Or Good morning, Sir, how are u doing today? Great, and you? Fine, thank you, is your leg behaving? Sure, it's getting better... Or Good morning, how are u? TGIF!!! Yeah! / not too bad for being Monday... But the ones that i prefer are Good morning, may i help u? yes, i'll put you through. Sorry, but lines are busy at the moment, could u please phone a little later or do u want me to leave a message? It sucks.

So if my personal life is a mess and my working life just sucks... I guess that makeover is justified. And mini-crisis...

Somebody asked me the other day, hey! how’s your mini-crisis going? Uh... no, mate, u got it all wrong, it’s not going anywhere. Pretty well established, in fact, thank u.

But diversifying is fun. I like the feeling when i first meet a guy and i look at him and he looks at me and then we smile and say all kind of stupid things and laugh and just behave in a stupid way that can only mean i want sex. Hehe, everything is so obvious and funny...

Friday, May 28, 2010

Good or bad?

Why are men so fucking predictable? And why do i keep playing along? =) Hehe, may be because that’s what i like...

Good guys are not for me, that’s for sure. Some times i actually find myself wondering whether i should just go for a good one. U know, the kind of man that will keep out of problems, be home early and don’t piss me off too much, the good-father type, pretty well organised, good job, good salary, good-looking... ;D
U’d say: no, they don’t exist. Well, in fact they do, i know of some! Ok, they may not fulfil exceedingly well all of the above-mentioned prerequisites, =P and i’m thinking basically of the last one... but, hey, they get close! they are charming...
So, what? So they are just too good, too calm, too gentle and SOFTY... Gosh, i need spices and decision, to be honest. A tiny little bit of harshness, playful and exciting. Can’t help it. And that’s why i like bad boys... preferably with a big bike. U thought i’d say sth different, huh? hahahaha, that’d be a plus.

Not always being like that, though... My first guy was so softy that once i was asked, to my complete amazement, if he was my younger brother. AND he was five years older than myself... I kept asking him to let his goatee grow. Then i left him and went on a trip to the-best-city-in-the-world-for-not-very-long-stays that i know as far. Relieving... My second significant one was also quite heavy to carry... if only he would have carried himself... Anyway, he left me a great present. Now the present and myself live by ourselves and enjoy going to the swimming pool and the park. And the zoo.

The thing is that i just don’t feel attracted by good guys, they don’t turn me on. I even know of one that fucks wonderfully, but then he looks at me making sheep’s eyes and... ooof, hate that!! That’s one of my problems (i have many, by the way); when a man shows a bit of real interest, i just feel like running away, maybe even shouting for help... I’d prefer those hungry eyes of the song, much more suggestive, ;) undressing me...
Guess that excludes good guys...

I like men who don't like me and the other way around: i don't like men who like me.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

yes, we can...

Yes we can!

Yes, we can. Today that’s the predominant feeling. Well, ok, that’s absolutely not true, i must say that right now it is, but not so long ago (four, five hours?) something more like Gosh-i-want-to-Please-don’t-let-me!! was planning over me like a big bird, one of those irish crows, big beaks and everything... Needing to send a humiliating text, fortunately i wasn’t by myself. My co-worker and good friend kept my phone away from me.
But right now, as i said, i’m feeling Yes, we can!
Don’t really know why. Nothing’s changed, in fact. N still...

What about my life. If i am to start something like this i’d better put a kind of draft of my life, so that if by chance anybody sees this doesn't think i'm crazy just like that. I certainly am, but i do have my reasons. Maybe not, who cares, anyway.

Shall i start... i know, i was born on a windy autumn day-just joking, don't worry, i'm not that mean.

Ok, i am just me, nobody important, nothing serious. And my problems are just crappy stupid things. Soooo stupid. Everything is sooo stupid. Me, them, everybody, like the song. And everything. We just keep taking turns, don’t we?

Yesterday it was MY day. I went to bed with such a great feeling of foolishness that i didn’t get to sleep properly. But i won’t say why yet, hehe, that would make me feel even more stupid. Because of a guy would be a plain lie, and that’s the fucking point, by the way. It was all my fault. That’s why i kept hitting my head against walls and doors. No i didn’t. My son was asleep, i would have woken him up.

I can start saying that my whole life is a kind of loose end... try to follow it! Here, there and back again. The story of a transitional life in a nutshell. And i’m no daughter of diplomatic. No european school, no pony. I got a dog, though. But she died and then we moved again. Into a depression and back again through high school. Wow, that was crap. And then i went (this time without the nice rolling stone tied to my neck and pulling from ahead) far, far away, to the land where everything is sunny, cheerful and... Nope, it was a bit to the right, so landed on a little village lost and deserted (i wonder why...). One day i put a washing machine and then a storm came to shout at my ear, so i decided it had been more than enough. Took an apple and a bus and went to the centre. The sunny and cheerful part. And there i got a job, a little apartment and that’s all. We all split into two smaller parties and that was the beginning of my adult life, i guess.