Somebody said once something like have you been building castles in the air? good, they are exactly where they should be, now go lay the foundations.
The general feeling of the week-end is that of being in a dream. But full of colour, taste, touch, so real and earthly, so fulfilling... simply brilliant in the most ample sense.
I’ve always loved building castles in the air, but the occasions when i had actually laid their foundations are very rare. Mostly because many of the times i like them exactly the way they are: floating. I like that dizzy feeling, vertigo. Also because i like moving from one to another, no need for a bunch of boxes to be filled with (mainly) crap. And because dreams are so very important that living off with the fairies from time to time should be mandatory, at least for some of us.
Last few months i’ve been starting to lay foundations to one of my firsts castles i remember of. Last two or three weeks much more consciously. I have had some help, i must say. Collaboration is always basic ;)
Sometimes, laying foundations means letting them become real enough to be potentially broken any time soon. They could catch fire any minute (watched The Pillars of the Earth? I didn’t finish, breaks were far too long and interesting, though we did our best) and crumble before your eyes.
Sometimes, laying foundations is like living in a dream. But real. With its colours, smells, feelings... enfolding with a dizziness coming from the inside.
Sometimes it happens to be both.
Let me tell you something: i feel so happy that there is a stupid smile all over my face. Thing is right now, the fact that it’s being a dream for so long is the less important by far. It may have been a boost, but immediately transformed. Into a stupid smile, i guess. Into a current dream, real and palpable. Into a vulnerable me, strong in my accessibility. I am not floating, nor being foolish or dreamy. Still, this is fucking good.
It’s taken me time, but it’s good to feel that being myself is not that scary, it can even work. That feeling and enjoying and showing what i am is not that dangerous. Information is power, of course. So please choose the right ears. But feeling comfortable... home... just as calm as excited... mmm, delicious. Rum punch =D