I know i am like a goldfish. Fishes, by the way, don’t have a 5 seconds memory, but a 5 months one. So go around saying it doesn’t matter, they won’t remember that i stuck a prickle in its throat, you see, haha, doesn’t matter anyway...
It does matter. In fact we, goldfishes, remember very clearly every little detail, every little prickle, till five months later. Then we erase it from our memories, so that they are clean and ready-to-use again.
I barely have memories from my childhood or my teens.
That’s why i have decided to make a draft about my lovers, so that i won’t forget any of them in the coming years.
I will start at the very beginning. Don’t worry, i started late... She was older than i was by then. She was even older than i am now. There’s not much to say. She had a kind of girlfriend, defined herself as bisexual and told me not to fall in love with her, which i didn’t. Afterwards, she’d send me a letter saying that coward love doesn’t get to be anything, that u have to take risks in your life, that... As for me, i didn’t have anything close to a boy- or girlfriend, i didn’t define myself (still don’t do it) and was just experimenting. When she told me not to fall in love with her i said great, don’t you fall in love with me and everything will be ok. She said she wouldn’t. I was just experimenting and she was older and wiser, but for a long time i felt really guilty for not falling in love, for the fact that she did, for not really wanting more. I didn’t even get my towel back. I own my aunt a towel ever since, that i haven’t forgotten. I didn’t even answer that painful letter. I never do.
She was nice, sweet and smooth. I didn’t like her kisses, but the massages were great.